Dealing with loss...

[SniperGimp]

So I know a few people noticed my rather spastic tf2 gaming yesterday. The reason is quite simple...
My Oma passed away yesterday, they day of her and my Opa's 63rd wedding anniversary. For those unaware. Oma and Opa are my German grandparents. They moved to Canada when my mother was 8 year old, my Opa fought in WW2 for the Germans, and my Oma was military nurse. He doesn't talk about his service, nor would I ever ask him to. Both of them have lead wonderful lives in my eyes, and passed on quite a few traditions in my family I plan to uphold.
However, like all of us, we age. I have no doubts in my mind that this was her time to go. She wasn't taken suddenly from us. Yet it still feels like an important part of me has been suddenly ripped out. Suddenly, all there are is photos and memories. ... All the bickering about how to deal with her when she got sick now is a distant past. Somehow now, we all have to pick up the pieces live without her.

I know we all hold the value of a life differently. She has left something in my life no one else really taught me, the value of traditions, the value of having the family get together to celebrate. Every year we celebrated Christmas Eve with her for as long as I can remember. There are a lot of little things we did that made it our own. When my wife and I started doing holidays together once we moved in with each other, I made sure we didn't miss Christmas eve with my Oma and Opa. I always look forward to it. Now it feels like in losing her, a little bit of Christmas has died with it.

So, I'm now dealing... and I ask, have you dealt with a close loss, and what did you do to help the wounds heal? Is time the only real answer...

[fAc3bOn3s]

I know exactly how you feel dude. I pretty much grew up with my grandmother. Every summer I would spend 2 months with her at the cottage until I was about 13. Every Christmas same thing. The things I found best made it seem O.K. and that things would feel right again... family. Spend time with your family. Remember the good stuff the stuff that made you laugh. And when it seems like its too much and your gonna break down. Call your best friend and tell him to come hang out. Anything you can do to keep your mind from going negative.

[jkaupp]

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Oma.

I lost my father very unexpectedly when I was 23. The sad thing is there is nothing you can do to suddenly be over something. What helped me was continuing to do the things I would do had my father still been there.

And I remembered him in the situations that I missed him the most. Christmas is hard, and go be with your Opa on Christmas Eve and remember the good & funny things about your Oma. The first Christmas without my father turned out to all of us sitting around the tree recalling the funny quirks and things my father did at Christmas. We all missed him terribly, but all shared in our memories of him.

I wish I had a better answer, but that is the best advice I can give.

[SniperGimp]

Yeah, my work was pretty cool about it. They said see you after Christmas, after they told me to go home this morning. We're holding Christmas eve at my mom's in her honour.

[Cleavage Monkey]

Very sorry to hear about your loss. I have lost all 4 grandparents. 2 very early on in their 60's and the other 2 lived to be 82. Regardeless of the age or how they were all difficult to deal with. My grandmother has been gone for 19 years and it seems like yesterday I was shopping with her (she loved to buy me clothes ). That is the thing though, the memories do live on forever and that really helps because although you are not seeing them physically anymore you still see them in your thoughts. My grandfather who was the last to go 4 years ago and who was also my favorite I think about often. I have some military memorabilia plus some online and newspaper articles about him and his naval career.
Surround yourself with the memories of these family members and you will eventually get through it. It may not seem like it now but you will.
And last of all, cry your little heart out and don't be embarrassed to do so. It's the most cleansing thing you can do in a situation like this.

[SniperGimp]

Ya, tears are good. Though not while I was driving home from work.

You guys are great btw. I knew there was more than just spam to this community. =)